I love halloween when I was a kid. How many other days in the year can you dress up as something else? Then go to strangers doors and get candy for free...I still love halloween, I get excited every time it rolls around. I think it also reminds me that Thanksgiving is coming, Christmas and New years...I am a sucker for any holiday really :o)

Its what we signed up for.
   Life is constantly changing for us all. I am a creature of habit and when things change my little heart gets shaky, scared and overwhelmed...often having to remind myself to breath and sometimes realizing how much it hurts when I do.

   I do believe that when a door closes its because another is to be walked through, but at the time of it shutting, sometimes being slammed in your face, pain rises to the top and my heart longs for  safety and predictability. I must say each time I have lost something I have found in hindsight that the next door was indeed needed and was thankful for the previous "slam". Jobs, relationships, possessions have all proved this to me. For without loss there can be no gain.

   Life is wonderful, this we must remember. We can not have the new with the old in our space...so even though it hurts and feels unpredictable I will forge on to see what can be found to replace my loss as I always do. The alternative would be to sit in the stagnation of routine and to do that would be to fail to live. As we change as individuals so must our circumstances to grow with us. Part of being human I suppose.

 

   No one ever warns you what the heart will go through when you decide to bring a life into this world. The pendulum, on which the heart swings, from the deepest love to the deepest heart ache, is breath taking and could cause even the mightiest warrior to sway in awe!

   Quite sometime ago...back in time when I seemed to be just a girl jumping into womanhood I decided that I wanted to be a mother at the ripe age of 23. It actually came about by accident and then not accident at all. My ex-husband and I were newly married and one month we thought I was accidentally pregnant...we ran to the store got a pregnancy test and when it came up negative we both started to cry which shocked us both. We didn't even know we wanted a child. The next month we decided to try to conceive...I'm not sure if it was my age or the desire to have the child that made me so fertile but I honestly believe that we could have shook hands and I would have conceived.

It was a long pregnancy full of morning sickness, kidney stones and pre-term labor...my 90lb 5ft frame wasn't sure it wanted something in its tummy. But all the same I gave birth to 10 fingers, 10 toes and 2 beautiful blue eyes. Little did I know what I was getting myself into :o) from the moment he was placed on my chest I was done. Madly in love in the worst kind of way.

   The reason I ramble on in such a way is because we had an incident last evening that moved well into the morning that deepened the love for this little soul that I have been blessed with.

   My little man was in the corner last night balling his eyes out claiming that "God hates him and so does everyone else". WHAT THE? Was my reaction. I spent a good 20 minutes convincing him otherwise when he stopped me in my tracks and said "Mommy you are going to be so mad at me" that's when I knew we were on our way to a life lesson. I assured him that "I love you for ever, for always and no matter what sweetie. There isn't a thing on earth that you could do to change that." With those words spoken he let the flood gates loose and explained to me how in the last month he has stolen exactly 7 books from his teachers library (my son loves to read more than I do, so the fact that he stole books instead of candy or money is no surprise to any of us). He explained that he took her books, ripped her library cards out of the back of them and then wrote his name in them like they were his. Then replaced her stolen books with books that I have bought him that he already read. Crafty little bugger eh?...YIKES!!! ...But of course that is not how I responded. He was heart broken and so disappointed in himself, how could I not wrap my arms around him and tell him he would be ok. So I hugged him looked him in those big blue teary eyes and said, "Baby, I will tell you again that I love forever, for always and no matter what." I explained that I loved how honest he was being and that because he confessed to me that I would help him through it.  I explained that he would have to suffer the reprocutions that his teacher places on him for his actions but that suffering those consequences are whole lot easier than how he felt inside the last month. He agreed :o)

   I called his teacher and left a message on her voicemail at school saying we had some apologizing to do and we would like to meet her in the morning. I put him to bed with big crocodile tears and a sick tummy with the assurance that mommy loves him and wasn't mad. I talked to his teacher in the morning before we came in and told her what had happened and her exact words were, "I am tickled pink that your son had the courage to come forward with this."

   My son and I both learned a lesson in unconditional love today. Me on how to perform it and him on how to accept it. His teacher accepted his apology through his tear stained faced and crumpled up hands. She explained to him that everyone makes mistakes but the people who admit it and learn from them are worth more than gold. His consequence is no marble party with the class tomorrow and he has to replace each book he stole with his own money. Sure beats the tummy ache that he has endured for keeping this inside for the last month. My little man even has a bad cold right now and thinks he got it from keeping yucky stuff inside his body. Would you believe that after he told the truth his cold is already starting to clear up? My heart breaks when the one I love so much is hurting...its like a great big open sore at the moment swelling up bigger and bigger everyday thanks to my little man. God gave me such an amazing gift when he placed that baby in my hands and he will have to pry that little guy out of my hands to get him back...don't think I wont put up a fight :o)

It takes a village :o) and what a nice village I am a part of.

I am green today
I chirp with joy like a cricket song.
I am gray today
Gloomy and down like a morning fog.
I am orange today
Loud and messy like finger paint on the wall.
I am red today
Hopping mad like a playground ball.
I am black today
Strong and tall a great big bear.
I am purple today
Bright and happy like a butterfly in the air.

I'm a rainbow today
All the colors of the world.
I'm a rainbow today
All the colors of the world.
I'm a rainbow today
All the colors of the world are in me.

I am yellow today
I shine my light out like the sun.
I am white today
Soft and quite like new snow.
I am blue today
Calm as glass and cool like the sea.

I'm a rainbow today
All the colors of the world.
I'm a rainbow today
All the colors of the world.
I'm a rainbow today
All the colors of the world are in me.
All the colors of the world are in me.

2 arms wrapping around me, a kiss on my head, fingers running through my hair with a goodmorning sweetie :o) and a great big smile mmmmmmm...gives me butterflies just thinking of it. Its kind of nice being woken up by the light of our beautiful sun too :o)

That I have another day to create the world my heart desires. How blessed we are that we are able to take an active part in our lives in such a way. What a divine God we have that He/She :o) designed us in such a way with the desire to shape our lives and the ability to do so with the mind.

Every day is a gift...every breath we take...

At times my audience are beautiful little children who by the worlds standards are considered to be disabled and need to be taught to live in society.

At times its a group of yogis desiring to deepen the awareness...connect to their mind, body and soul.

At times its a little boy who is learning that mommy isn't a super hero...but loves me anyway.

At times its a brilliant man who knows so much about this world and even more about himself...whose willing to open up and share with me.

At times its friends who just want to have a good time and have my best interests at heart....

At times its a group of amazing cyber people who have a common vision a common goal in life... (thats you Gaia :o) )

 God Himself is always in these crowds...placing arrows out on which way to go to get closer and closer to Him. :o)

I humbly bow to my audience and will come back for as many encores you ask of me :o)

The term synchronicity is coined by Jung to express a concept that belongs to him. It is about acausal connection of two or more psycho-physic phenomena. This concept was inspired to him by a patient's case that was in situation of impasse in treatment. Her exaggerate rationalism (animus inflation) was holding her back from assimilating unconscious materials. One night, the patient dreamt a golden scarab - cetonia aurata. The next day, during the psychotherapy session, a real insect this time, hit against the Jung's cabinet window. Jung caught it and discovered surprisingly that it was a golden scarab; a very rare presence for that climate. So, the idea is all about coincidence: in this case, between the scarab dreamt by the patient and its appearance in reality, in the psychotherapy cabinet.

But this coincidence is not senseless, a simple coincidence. By using the amplification method, Jung associates in connection with the scarab and comes to the concept of death and rebirth from the esoteric philosophy of antiquity, a process that, in a symbolic way, the patient should experience for a renewal and vitalization of her unilateral personality, the cause of the neurosis she was suffering from.

Thus, a significant coincidence of physical and psychological phenomena that are acausal connected.

 

Wishing you all a day full of synchronicity to remind you that we live a supernatural life full of arrows to help point the way. Quiet the mind open the heart and see :o)

 

There is a saying that I grew up with in the fundamental Christian home that I was raised in..."God never gives you more than you can handle, and should more than you can handle approach He will provide a way of escape from the situation...so do not fear". I have always kept this belief in me even though I have let go of many of the other beliefs that no longer serve me with that particular religion.

What I am finding though is the older I get...the deeper, the wiser, the stronger....the harder the lessons become. Suddenly there is a lesson in everyday (especially by being a mother).

I am currently doing some shadow work on myself and perfectionism is the shadow that is being brought to the light. Yikes! Not easy stuff at all but I suppose its not more than I can handle with my Source at my side. Its what I signed up for I know.

Im shocked at what lessons in the past have brought me to. I'm quite proud of the woman I have become. I look back at the person I was 10 years ago and I don't think I would hang out with her even knowing she was me :o)
Taking on these lesson without running from them is shaping me into something beautiful from the inside out. I am so excited to see the woman who will wear this body of mine 10 years from now...she's a kinder, more loving, softer, IMPERFECT :o) woman who her children are so proud of...I feel so safe in her embrace. So tell everbody I'm on my way:o) on my way to meet her.

To sum it up in a few words I have discovered recently  that the lessons get deeper day by day and so do I :o)

 
I tend to keep it open when I shouldn't always do that. It is my most beautiful quality but also a double edged sword. It can derive so much depth from all my relationships (friends, family and lovers) but also open myself up to anothers pain.
People are so drawn to the heart in my hands but aren't use to seeing that and when its face to face they aren't so sure what to do with it.
 
Maybe I don't need healing, maybe I just need more strategies to keep it open in spite of those who are not. Our world needs more open hearts and its never really been my style to put a fence around mine anyway :o) So I will breath deeply into my heart chakra...clear out the murkey color that is filling it up and breath in the white light that is use to living there.

GOOD ADVICE TO LIVE BY

Will You Dance With Me?
 
READ THIS VERY SLOWLY.... IT'S PRETTY PROFOUND.

Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they haven't thought about it, don't have it on their schedule, didn't know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine.

I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night in an effort to cut back..  From then on, I've tried to be a little more flexible.

How many women out there will eat at home because their husband didn't suggest going out to dinner until after something had been thawed?  Does the word 'refrigeration' mean nothing to you?

How often have your kids dropped in to talk and sat in silence while you watched 'Jeopardy' on television?

I cannot count the times I called my sister and said, 'How about going to lunch in a half hour?'  She would gas up and stammer, 'I can't. I have clothes on the line.  My hair is dirty.  I wish I had known yesterday, I had a late breakfast, It looks like rain.'  And my personal favorite:  'It's Monday.' She died a few years ago. We never did have lunch together.

Because Americans cram so much into their lives, we tend to schedule our headaches.  We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves when all the conditions are perfect!

We'll go back and visit the grandparents when we get Steve toilet-trained.  We'll entertain when we replace the living-room carpet...   We'll go on a second honeymoon when we get two more kids out of college.

Life has a way of accelerating as we get older.  The days get shorter, and the list of promises to ourselves gets longer.  One morning, we awaken, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of 'I'm going to,' 'I plan on,' and 'Someday, when things are settled down a bit.'

When anyone calls my 'seize the moment' friend, she is open to adventure and available for trips.  She keeps an open mind on new ideas.  Her enthusiasm for life is contagious.  You talk with her for five minutes, and you're ready to trade your bad feet for a pair of Roller blades and skip an elevator for a bungee cord..

My lips have not touched ice cream in 10 years.  I love ice cream.  It's just that I might as well apply it directly to my stomach with a spatula and eliminate the digestive process  The other day, I stopped the car and bought a triple-Decker. If my car had hit an iceberg on the way home, I would have died happy.

Now...go on and have a nice day.  Do something you WANT to......not something on your SHOULD DO list. If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say?  And why are you waiting?

Make sure you read this to the end; you will understand why I sent this to you.

Have you ever watched kids playing on a merry go round or listened to the rain lapping on the ground?  Ever followed a butter fly's erratic flight or gazed at the sun into the fading night? Do you run through each day on the fly?  When you ask ' How are you?'  Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done, do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores running through your head?  Ever told your child, 'We'll do it tomorrow.'  And in your haste, not see his sorrow?  Ever lost touch?  Let a good friendship die?  Just call to say 'Hi?

When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened gift....Thrown away..... Life is not a race Take it slower.  Hear the music before the song is over. 

blasting  music and coloring with my son...we take our shoes off, get in comfy clothes so we can get nice and sure of whats inside us and not whats outside us and we go crazy...let loose and draw our emotions out...its so much fun drawing what we feel inside...

I have a friend whom I have known for over 15 years who has spent the last 10 running from himself...breaking his own heart and all those around him trying to quiet the pain in his life with things outside of him. Not realizing that he has been giving all his energy and strenght to that which he wishes to be freed from. It has lead him to a point in the road where he walks toward death or life and he turned right. Over to where I am walking and decided to choose life...a much harder path indeed...a place where you face everything that comes your way...feel it and then watch it pass as you keep walking...a path where you are freed from your chains...a path so worth it...
Such great news and he can be sure that I will help him along the path every step of the way :o) Anyone who chooses  to live the life uncommon can be sure they have a partner in me.

Honestly....I feel for myself that something is worthwhile when there is an even exchange of energy.

I am so careful at creating positive energy in my life through my activities and thoughts...Yoga, cognitive restructuring my thoughts as they come to me, the food I eat, the music I listen to, the books I read, the movies I watch...I spend everyday making sure its a safe healthy place inside my skin.

So when I allow others into my life there is a risk...a risk that they are not quite as careful with the person inside there skin. The risk that they haven't spent time in their day creating this positive energy for themselves and those around them. If they have failed to do that then they do not have an equal amount of positive energy in their bank and look to me to help fill theirs up. Seeing a full tank of positive energy is so incredibly intoxicating for those who have an empty one it's like heroin for the human soul...so they run to me with urgency looking to take a hit of the Jung Girl...they keep running back for more and more....

Sharing a little bit is fine...its like giving blood...but if I spend too much time in their presence its almost like they have hooked up an IV up to me and are working on taking it all.

In the past I would take in these (ALL!!) people with open arms...fill them up nice and full until it was spilling out of their eyeballs...I had so many friends that loved being around me and would tell me how good I made them feel but I would walk away exhausted running home to fill up again...it became quite a bit of work because you see when people don't do the work themselves they spill out all that positive energy and don't know how to get refills on their own...they call the Jung girl to fill them up again...instantly linking me with positive energy and never realizing that they can do it themselves if they just try. This is how addictive relationships begin...when you have something they want that they think they can't have without you. Boy is it fun when you stop taking their calls :o) they don't go away quietly...If they could only wake up to the fact that they have the ability to fill up their own tank.

So I will give you my blood to some degree....but I am also going to want some of yours to if its going to be worth my while. And if you don't share than I don't want to play with you anymore.